More revisions, day three

January 20, 2012 at 8:05 am (Writing work)

Chapters Six and Seven today, and they move more slowly than the others.  Six has a number of pieces that add nothing, so need to be cut, but still needs a better sense of the passage of time. Seven needs an ending that has more of a punch, and I think I get it almost right.

Comments from the MS:
Cut, split, clarify (over and over again)
Add implication of later problem
Add motive for later
You just said this above!
Connection is iffy
Too detailed — he wouldn’t notice this straight off
Tense is off and too much of a digression (shame, because it was a cute little anecdote, but really had no point or connection to what’s going on)
Put bit from p. 67 here
This whole ending is off — give no time to do anything yet, no preparation

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