Chapters Nineteen and Twenty, both of which need lots of work. Nineteen is too long by far, partly because a lot happens and partly because the fight scene is far too padded. There’s also a good deal that needs to be glossed over, unless I want to write a tedious travel scene.
Chapter Twenty has a scene that I wrote back when I was still working on the first draft of the prior book, and while it’s a great scene, it also shows its age. Names and circumstances have changed, one so substantially that I stop work to go back through the manuscript to make sure one character is no longer referred to by a certain title. I find two instances in chapters I’ve already revised. That’s embarrassing.
Three-fourths done. This might work.
Comments from MS:
Condense into 1-2 grafs at most
Cut entire page (usually indicated by one big slash of the pen)
They’d have no need for this
He knows this already — no need to tell
Make sure reader knows where [thing] is
What does this mean?
Reconcile with several-day journey
She’s heard this language before, would know its name